Why We Exist

Imagine this. 

 

It's 7 o'clock in the morning and you’re getting your kids ready for school. The kitchen sink is a clutter of breakfast dishes, your son is finishing his last minute homework and you are neatly tying ribbons into your daughter’s braid. The morning chaos is disrupted by a knock on the door. Without even knowing who is there, you have a visceral response. Rarely does someone come knocking at 7am.

 

It's law enforcement and they want to speak to your husband. 

 

The following moments play out like a movie you are watching completely disconnected from the fact that this is your home, your family and your life. You quickly usher your children to a separate room and assure them that everything is OK, but as police begin to confiscate the computers, the phones and even your kids' play stations you know that everything is not OK.

 

In a hushed tone, a detective explains that your husband is involved in online child sexual abuse. You’re numb, you can see the detectives mouth moving but his words no longer register. All you can hear are those four words; online child sexual abuse. The person you love and thought you knew better than anyone has been demanding children be raped and filmed. 

 

You ask yourself, 'how did I not know,' not yet realising that this is an accusation that you are going to become very familiar with. 'Why didn't you know?' 'Are you sure you didn't know?' 'What does it say about you that he did this?' 

 

Approximately half of perpetrators charged with child sexual abuse material have an intimate partner and children. This traumatic, true story is playing out for non-offending partners and affected family members every day. 

 

PartnerSPEAK supports these families.

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